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Sun 8 May 4.05pm
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1 Chelski 35 88 54
3 Arsenal 35 77 43
3 Manure 35 73 33
4 Everton 35 58 5
5 Liverpool 36 55 12
6 Bolton 36 54 4
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 Henry 41
 Ljungberg 34+2
 Pires 34+10
 Reyes 35+6
 van Persie 15+22
 Vieira 40 6
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Something for the weekend?

Yes please, how about a win? With the visit of Birmingham City to Highbury this Saturday - The Arsenal will be wanting to get back to winning ways. With José Money and Ol' 65% Proof Nose already writing The Arsenal off, now would be a good timely reminder of how stiff our resolve is. Birmingham themselves are going through a barren spell and this could prove to be a pivotal moment of the season for The Arsenal if they win this one.

A win would be a much needed booster to our campaign which sees the next league game against the chavs of Chelski.

The game will be a hard one, (it shouldn't be but I reckon it will be) the forward line all apart from the achilles injury carrying King Henry have been firing blanks and to make matters worse Lord Robin van Dick van Dyke van Persie and Jermaine 'Bad Bwoy' Pennant have picked up injuries ahead of the game - GREAT! And just when you thought it couldn't get worse DB10 is still ruled out. Therefore this means our forward line will be made up a 70% fit King Henry and the invisible man, the artist formerly known as José Antonio Reyes. Not too sure where the goals are going to come from but come they must. With all the recent injuries added to the long term ones (Gilberto, Edu) the team picks itself really - it should be the same players on the park who played (except for the first half - as no one played) against Liddypool.  Let's hope the boys show a lot more fight in this one.


Ol' 65% Proof Nose gets sweet F.A.

In what must be something of a precedent The Manure sponsored F.A. have chosen not to take any further action on Lord Persie's elbow challenge on some Manc in the Mickey Mouse Cup. Ol' 65% Proof Nose wanted The F.A. to take some form of action against the boy Lord Persie, probably in the form of a custodial sentence or watching The Scum for a season. Our northern reporter attempted to get a statement from The Jock at his mock tudor cladding northern slum mansion but couldn't understand a bloody word the sour purple faced Jock had to say. But from our before and after pictures you can see that The Jock wasn't too pleased with The F.A. verdict.old jock bastard

Saint Wenger concerned

The Arsenal manager has stated publicly that he is worried with the current slide to The Arsenal's campaign but also says that this seasons performances cannot be compared to the historic exploits of the unbeaten run from last season. You can stick with the concise version or read more about the story here. Saint Wenger has also come out fighting and challenged his squad to produce the goods against The Brum and stop the current run The Arsenal are on which has not seen a win in six games.


Round up in 60 seconds or less

Jermaine Pennant says he's not going anywhere after being linked to Aston Vanilla and wants to fight for his place.... Martin Jol-ly fat man The Scum manager is the unlikely ally of Lord Persie saying he's a huge talent and basically is singing his praises.... The Arsenal are hot on the heels of another Italian starlet, this time in the form of Andrea Consigli who's the u-17 keeper for Atalanta..... Freddie Ljungberg has been named as The Arsenal player of the month on the official site getting 34% of the votes, Fabregas again came in for the second spot for the second time in a row and saving the best to till last - Arsenal old garçon Manu Petit could be a surprise re-signing for The Arsenal. Petit has been training at London Colney in attempt to get back to full fitness and Saint Wenger has said he has thought about re-signing the former Highbury leg-end, read that story here.


Brum match - my verdict

We need to win - that's the bottom line, but with Birmingham you know they will come to defend - so a nil nil could be in the offing. A clean sheet and a couple of goals for us is what we need - especially José 'Lord Lucan' Reyes.


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