The Return of the King

Two weeks ago he was rated by Saint Wenger as having only a 30/70% chance of playing in the FA Cup final but the news is King Henry will be on the bench for the last home match of the season against northern scallies Everton.

In what seems to be a near miraculous recovery by the soon to be Arsenal record goal scorer and all round Mr Nice Guy, Thierry Henry will be itching to get on the pitch no doubt. We're sure a bit of kidology as well as protecting his star man, Arsene Wenger has kept his cards close to his chest regarding Tel's impending return, which is nice.

More news ahead of tonight's match is that Sol 'The Rock' Campbell will get the nod ahead of Philippe Senderos who it is believed will be rested after his sterling performances and two back-to-back Player of the Month awards. It doesn't need to be said but out of the two star players Sol has hardly been missed, as the back four have conceded just four goals in 14 games. Even up front the pairing of Lord van Persie and José Reyes has sparkled and gives hope when Big Tel is missing.

Apart from Sol's inclusion the team picks itself as the team have secured second spot by virtue of soon to be owned American conglomerate Manchester United Wildcats losing to The Bank of Chelsea in last night's game.

However what is a nice touch to Everton who we thrashed 4-1 in the opening game of the season, Saint Wenger has paid tribute to David 'Ol' Ginge' Moyes by saying what he has done this season is a 'miracle'.

Will he wont he?

Splash the cash that is. Last week Arsene Wenger claimed he had money to splash about and now he claims he wont be spending too much. As we all know the Saint is a canny and shrewd man when it comes to transfers and is hardly going to tell all and sundry just who he is going to tap up.

Arsene Wenger told us 'exclusively' via the media "It will be minor changes and small money. I don't know what is big money for you but for me small money is £5million and big money is £25million. I'm not necessarily a small money man, I've nothing against money. But you spend what you have - or you die. We want someone who will bring us something extra. and I can tell you a few players who have brought something extra for below £5million.

"In the past three months, I feel we have made up the ground on Chelsea and are up there with them defensively.

"That's why I don't think we need a lot. We need to start next season really hungry and determined and keep all the players together.
"We've conceded 34 goals - ten goals more than we should have done - and that made the difference."

It remains to be seen just who Saint Wenger will go for during the summer sales with the likes of SWWWP, David 'ATM' Beckham, Ledley King and any geezer and his dog being linked to the most successful club in London.

Pass him the mic

Arsenal Leg-end and former double-double winning captain Mr Tony Adams seems to have slept with the mic on. After stepping down as Wycombe Wand erers boss and being a recluse for nigh on a season the Mighty Adams can't stop chatting.

This time Big Tone has said he fancies The Arsenal for the FA Cup and that the Champions League should be just that, for champions. "I think a lot of things are motivated by finance and I don't think that's right. I think it should be the number one in England , and across Europe battling it out to be number one in Europe."

"It should be champions league, it's as simple as that."

Db10 upset at lack of contract talks

As every Gooner knows DB10's contract runs out in the summer like it has done for the pass fives years being that he has been on a one year rolling contract since forever, ok five years.

It has been widely reported that the Master Dutchman is upset by the lack of activity on the behalf of The Arsenal to secure his services for one final flourish. The great man has said he will quit rather than ply his trade elsewhere, you listening Bolton?

In yet another 'exclusive' interview to allgoonerdup.com gleaned from The Evening Stand ard the Dutch had this to say, "It could be my last game at the stadium because we haven't sat down yet to talk. I am a bit upset over how it is going.
"It seems that every season it has to be like this and it is a bit frustrating. I said in November I wanted to stay and I haven't changed my mind.
"Somehow they always want to leave it until the last minute. Maybe they want to see what comes their way or what will happen if I change my mind. It is difficult for me.
"I am a professional footballer but I am also a dad to four kids. You want to know what the future will bring."

Saint Wenger for all you not paying attention has previously said he will sit down with DB10 over a nice cup of tea and cake to discuss his Arsenal future, however with the young buck Lord van Persie showing Bergkamp-esque qualities the real Dennis will find his opportunities limited.

Real Madrid - not liking the tapa's?

In what we're not sure is a bit of tongue in cheek kidology or just the Spanish doing a bit of radio pranking, Real Madrid have accused The Arsenal of tapping up a player. No we are not kidding, a Real Geri-atico's exec has claimed The Arsenal are trying to unsettle the money making machine and circus that is David Beckham.

Saint Wenger made comments recently that he would be interested in signing the barnet challenged fashion icon and this has the Geri-atico's fired up. Now who would of thought it, Real Madrid the king of the Tapa's (say it slowly) accusing another team of tapping up?

Ciao Edu - it's official

In what must of been the worst kept secret since Ruud van Cheatingcuunt being a cheating diving manc. Injury prone, dodgy passport holding Brazilian Edu has said he will leave The Arsenal after the FA Cup final, why so soon? Question is, as we know he wont figure next season should Wenger still play him? No one is questioning his ability or professionalism, we will be sad to see him go, however shouldn't we play someone who wants to stay and play for the club.

So Edu we bid you ciao and good luck with Real, Barca, Valencia, Juve, Inter add more till fade in your search for some more filthy lucre that The Arsenal couldn't pay you, (all tongue-in-cheek if you didn't realise).

Ol' Ferguson has been at the hooch again

Comments attributed to dirty Manc dictator and despot Alex 'ol' 80% Proof nose' Ferguson has confirmed the mad fiery jock is on the Buckfast and vast amounts of it. He said recently the following teams would be closer to The Bank of Chelsea next season 'The Arsenal, Manchester Utd, Liverpool and Tottenham Hotspurs' Did you spot the odd one out? Also on the subject of drunken dribble and bull faeces and more drunken dribble, the sour purple faced one said after the defeat at the hand s of The Bank of Chelsea where the big fat lady sang VERY loudly said "What you saw tonight (Tuesday) was two teams of professionals, playing good football, I hope we see that at the weekend." Before falling to the ground in a drunken heap.

It remains to be seen whether whilst The Arsenal play always in their professional manner the dirty mancs will play in their usual manner of kicking chunks out of the players and then taking it in turns at playing 'kick and punch tag' with José Reyes which seems like a Manchester United pastime.

round-up in 60 seconds or less..

Manager Paul le Guen of four times in a row French champions, Lyon has stepped down and is reported to be taking up a coaching role at The Arsenal... Liberian international Jimmy Dixon is the latest player to be tracked by The Arsenal. The 23-year-old has attracted the interest of a host of clubs after an impressive campaign with BK Hacken... Midfielder Olafur Ingi Skulason who is released on a 'free' in the summer will travel to Holland for a trial with FC Groningen, good luck Gooner... Bobby Pires says that Arsenal will not be drawn into any mind games with Alex 'Ol' 80% Proof Nose' Ferguson before the FA Cup final and that the talking will be done on the pitch, so there! No doubt the media will do all their best to stoke the fires of the rivalry in their usual way... Saint Wenger has told King Chav John Terry to 'jog on' oh or is that 'dream on' about The Bank of Chelsea FC going through a season unbeaten... Not that it's worth reporting as it's hardly going to happen but we'll give them some airplay, Barcelona want Thierry 'King' Henry (who doesn't?) in the summer sales. The much decorated hot shot is top of their wish list... that's it Keep it locked, more news at 11.