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Chelsea

when:

21/08/05 16.05

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Stamford Bridge

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latest news arsenal premiership football
   
   

'Le Boss' Vieira leads the
Galati-kids to FA Cup glory

With a combined average age of 14 and half the squad not even legal to have a pint (you listening Jermaine?). 'Little Arsenal' with their mentor 'Le Boss' Vieira helped the crisis club into the 6th Round after a tense game against the northern monkeys Sheffield Utd. For the first time in god knows when, The Arsenal win a game on Penalties.

Sheffield Utd came to the party to spoil things and but themselves about habit - which they sort of managed. The cheeky northerners even fancied themselves to score with the likes of some Steve Claridge look alike missing from Ronnie Rosenthal distance and John 'Boy' Harley making Manuel Almunia earn his pocket money with seconds on the clock. Anyway a few chances by The Arsenal, a couple of whacks by the northerners, two bottles of fine French wine and 120 minutes later - still no goals. Then came the thing all gooners dread - Penalties. But we won 4-2 and more surprisingly Almunia was named man of the match. Not one to put a downer on proceedings - we still need a new keeper, don't get carried away. As Wesley Snipe's once said "You can put a cat in a microwave but that don't make it a cookie".

But we'll let the man have his moment - so Manuel - good work gooner, you did well. As did all our Galati-kids. CMON!

 

Pennant banged up for three months

Ex-Arsenal Brummie loanee Jermaine Pennant has been sentenced to do three months porridge after his drink driving lamp post smashing antics didn't wash with the Judge. The Judge did add he would have to give Pennant a custodial sentence as he was already on a drink driving ban - although living in Birmingham should be punishment enough.

At the time of going to press it has been confirmed Pennants new 'Shower Daddy'
is a 6ft 18 stone con who goes by the name of Bubba.

Our ex jug-eared player is expected to serve half his punishment, then tagged and bagged in Brum for the remainder of his years as Brum boss Big Bruce has again said he wants to sign the little tearaway on a permanent basis.

jermaine pennant arsenal premiership footballer - latest news
 

round-up in 60 seconds or less..

Bordeaux star man Antonio Mavuba the latest French sensation has said he would be interested in a move to The Arsenal.... 'Allegedly' The Arsenal are stepping up their interest in Belgium keeper Silvio Proto who is also being monitored by Manure... Some 14 year old northern oik and a girl at that has been charged for throwing a bottle at Saint Wenger before the game against Sheffield Utd, it's not known whether the bottle was an alcoholic one or one for one of kids, as those northerners breed like rabbits... Surprisingly as The Arsenal have slipped to a lowly third in the league our lowest position since the league was ever thought of, there are three players in the top 3 of the OPTA Charts -
1 Patrick Vieira  1814
2 Thierry Henry   1794
3 Dennis Bergkamp  1575
...Saint Wenger has slammed the decision to only fine Spanish coach Louise Arrogant a couple of grand - which let's face it - he's hardly going to miss.... Apparently now Inter are in the hunt for Valencia bound Brazilian super star Edu.... The sixth round FA Cup clash with northern monkeys Bolton will be played on Saturday 12th March 2005 with a 12:15 kick-off and shown live on BBC tv...     more news at 11.

 
 
 
 
 
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