Hey Bobby, what's French for
'we're gonna score two goals
more than you?'

If ever there was a time to stand up and be counted - then tonight's 'must win' game  in countless permutations against the Munchkin's of Bayern is one of them. The Arsenal need to overturn a 3-1 deficit in a game even Saint Wenger says we will need a 'miracle' to win. Well we do believe in miracles - there was one of those on Saturday when the legend of the Clean Sheet was found at Highbury.

With Dennis Bergkamp back in attack that will no doubt help the attacking options which were completely non-existent in the first leg. Well the less said about that game the better - which was labeled The Arsenal's worst euro performance ever by Saint Wenger and admittedly allgoonerdup.com have to second that. The ever injury prone Brazilian who must have shares in a medical and crutches company, Edu has picked up yet another injury (there's a surprise) and is a doubt.  However, Bobby Pires, declared himself fit two weeks after the GBH assault attack by Davie Prutton, rolled up his sleeves and said in his Franco-London twang 'Ballacks I'm having some of this'.

The Arsenal will need a performance of 'Roma 2002' and 'Inter 2003' proportions to get into the last eight. It all depends on just which Arsenal turn up tonight - we know the boys are more than capable, however we also know the opposite. So CMON The Arsenal - keep the faith - and a clean sheet.

King Henry - I'm not a one man show

Thierry 'The King' Henry has said should Arsenal go out of The Champions League tonight then he will be blamed and that The Arsenal isn't a one man team. The young Terrence than went to heap praise onto his team mates by saying "It's a team game, not a one-man show. If Lauren had not given me that amazing cross against Portsmouth last Saturday, I would not have scored our first goal. I always say that without my team, I am nothing. The only player I have seen winning games on his own was that cocaine snorting serial prostitute worrying Jabba the Hut looking Diego Maradona, even scoring with his hands!*" Which isn't nice.

*some of this statement has been 'sexed' up

Pizarro writes off King Henry

More stories on tonight's big game! Bayern player and scorer against The Arsenal Claudia Pizarro - has said "Thierry Henry is a fantastic player, but he doesn't seem to have the same effect in Europe, I don't know why. Was he playing in Munich? "For me, it is impossible Arsenal will score two goals", then launching into one of those woo haa haa devilish laughs.

Win an EXCLUSIVE T - shirt

How would you lucky lucky people like to be the owner of this very exclusive brand new Dennis Bergkamp t-shirt? Well here's your chance. Our friends, the extremely funny and dark guys at harderthansatan have produced another funky limited edition design. ONLY TEN copies of this t-shirt are available.

All you need to do is answer this very simple question. Which teams did Dennis Bergkamp score his first and 100th Arsenal goals against?

Forward your answers and
your t-shirt size to:
tshirtcomp@allgoonerdup.com
for a chance to win this very tasty limited edition t-shirt.

Due to the change over in host and a 'few' technical problems the competition will now run until Friday 2nd May 2005.

good luck Gooners.

Click on t-shirt image to see it larger!
And to view more products
by harderthansatan click on the link below

round-up in 60 seconds or less..

The young kid with the permanent  orange glow tan that is Jeremie Ali-Ali-Dere is wanted by the Happy Hammers on loan.... our Star Wars loving Danny Calrissian or is it Karbassiyoon(?) has returned from his stint of tractor driving with Ipswich - he passed with flying colours making six appearances and earning a grade 2.1 in the art of tractor pulling.... Ex-Gooner and one time record signed Sylvain 'Silky' Wiltord hit a three goal salvo for Lyon in the Champions League destruction of Werder Bremen last night, god how we could do with some of that tonight... more news at 11.