Will anyone not suspended or injured please stand up

With more suspensions than a souped up dragster and more injuries than Darren 'sicknote' Anderton pre-season, The Arsenal go into the FA Cup fifth round clash with Sheffield Utd tonight (live on BBC2 of all places) with no recognised first time strikers. Camp Freddie will act as supporting striker, in a role which he played against Bayern Munchich to no real effect. The other striker role is up for grabs with Ali-Ali-Dere, Dr Quincey and Arturo Lupoli in the frame. With Jeremie Ali-Ali-Dere only playing a few minutes reserve team action in six months, it's unlikely that he will start the game. So expect Lupoli or Dr Quincey to get the nod.

This FA Cup clash will look more like a Mickey Mouse Cup clash with the amount of youngsters on show, so expect something different tonight. The players out are: Suspensions: Bergkamp, Reyes, Lord van Persie. Injury: Edu, Campbell, Pires, Henry, Gilberto.

Let's hope the youngsters can pull something out the bag, as with a 3-1 Champions League defecit to turn around against Bayern Munchich and trailing Manure by four points for second spot - our season could well be over in two weeks - now you know how a Tott*ham supporter feels, which isn't nice...

10 men, 1 red card, 1 set piece
and 1 dodgy 'keeper

Yes it has got to be The Arsenal. Again The Arsenal can't defend set pieces, we have now let in 32 goals this season - which is a lot more at this stage than we let in ALL of last season. Lord Robin Van Persie got himself sent off after Southampton were down to 10 men after the mad jock Davie Prutton got two yellows for what was little short of GBH. The Arsenal were in total control and were odds on to put 10 man Southampton to the sword but that's when Lord Persie decided that The Arsenal had an unfair advantage and got himself his second yellow card for launching himself at a Saints man. Stupid boy.

Arsene Wenger who always goes out of his way to protect his players (which is right - in the right circumstances) was asked after the 1 - 1 draw if he was furious with Lord Persie? But Wenger just said 'You can't be pleased with him'. Now forgive us at allgoonerdup.com but what sort of answer is that? Is there any gooner out there that wasn't incensed and rightly p*ssed off with Lord Persie? Saint Wenger's answer was more of a 'Sven's answer'. Show some emotion Monsieur Wenger. Harry 'shifty looking second-hand car dealer' Redknapp was more to the point when the same question was asked of Prutton and Old Shifty leather coat answered that Prutton was stupid and there's no way he could defend him and rightly so. More straight talking Harry here.

So the game ended 1 - 1 The Arsenal goal coming from Camp Freddie bang on the half time whistle. But as usual The Arsenal were undone by the two things which have haunted our season - one dodgy keeper and one set piece and put them together, what do you get? A goal - good answer but hardly the $6 million dollar one. The Saints goal was scored by the 9ft 7 inch giant stick insect Peter Couch-Potato. King Henry gave it a go but the Saints keeper was on form and showed Wenger how a keeper is supposed to perform.

Camp Freddie - it's not over yet

Our Super Swede Calvin Klein model and good looking sort Camp Freddie has said that the title race is not over as far as he is concerned.  Ljungberg refuses to accept that The Arsenal's title hopes are over after admitting he has "no interest" in finishing second. Well neither have any gooners Freddie but you need to be taking off those glasses Saint Wenger has lent you because we have as much chance of retaining our Championship as Ruud Van Niiistilroooy winning the Grand National (?) or Wayne Rooney winning Slimmer of the year award.

£30m for Summer Sales

The Arsenal have confirmed Granada TV have invested a further £30m which will go and god don't we need it towards players during the Summer Sales. We can only hope Saint Wenger buys big & proven talent and doesn't look for £2m basement bargains if he has any real ambition to fight for the Premiership or the Holy Grail that is the Champions League.

With the goalkeeper's at The Arsenal doing their best to out do each other in the 'Who can throw the biggest howler' stakes - that would at first thought be the priority. A WORLD CLASS defender to play alongside Sol is another. Anyway we could go on and on about who & where to buy but it remains to be seen who (or in some cases WHAT) Saint Wenger will bring in. During the breaking news of this story it has been reported   the lottery winning Sarf West London chavs of Chelski have had another £3000m pumped into them by their Russian mafia sugar daddy.

Round-up in 60 second or less....

After the back injury which has wrecked his season Gilberto is reportedly a matter of weeks away from first team action... Bobby Pires who was on the wrong end of a GBH assault by Davie Prutton during the 1-1 draw with Southampton will be out of action for up to two weeks... King Henry has been appointed as Fifa's senior 'fair play' ambassador to campaign against racism in football, good work gooner.... ex-Arsenal custodian Rami Shabba Ranks is reportly going to sign a permanent deal with the south coast giants of Brighton... Mehmet Scholl the Bayern Munchich playmaker is out of the return leg of the Champions League encounter, but they will probably have Miichael Ballack back so there's no good news there....