Cole rumour free zone

Yes - allgoonerdup.com is back after larging it and now fully recovered from a Fun-athon in Ibiza. We have seen the papers, read the website's and all we know is the fallout from the 'Cole-gate' affair will run and run. So, we have taken the unprecedented step in declaring that we aren't going to spend too much time on this sordid little matter.

Ashley Cole and his agent Jonathon Barnett must think they are doing 'Le Boss' Vieira a favour as this summer will see their names as well as the lottery winning chavs of Sarf West London names splashed across the front and the back pages.

Obviously the big questions are, will young Ashley leave? Can he stay? How will the fans react to him, (assuming he does stay)? All these and many more questions will be answered in due time. All we know is that young Ashley says he wont join another Premiership team, although his move to The Bank of Chelsea is dead in the water as José Money says Cole is a midget and not tall enough for a defender(?). So that leaves just the likes of Barca and Real Geri-atico's to fight it out over his signature. But if that is the path he is going to go will it be out of spite or because he can see no way back at The Arsenal?

We will leave young Ashley and our readers with this thought - he is, was (delete as applicable) loved by The Arsenal supporters, will he get that at Real, where he was subjected to those morons making those monkey chants when En-gur-land played Spain earlier this year? Watch this space or don't as we aren't going to report the Chinese water torture leaking of 'news' from this story. But one thing allgoonerdup.com is sure of, to save your already fraying nerves and fingernails don't become too much of a news junkie as everyone and his dog will have something to say on this matter. This is going to be a LONG old summer and for once it doesn't have anything to do with Captain Paddy, which is nice.

The Bank of Chelsea caught with their hand s in the till AGAIN!

Must be summer (well not according to the weather but anyway...) as there are no real stories just rumours so we have to do a Chelski story. After being caught red-hand ed in tapping up the young Ashley, those real charmers are at it again but this time it's not a player it's T*ttenham Director of Football, Frank Arnesen.

The Bank of Chelsea aren't winning too many friends with their 'gentlemanly' conduct and are showing a real lack of class and pedigree in attempting to achieve some sort of history.

It's not known whether Tottenham will pursue the matter in the same manner The Arsenal brought The Bank of Chelsea to book - however they have suspended the double dealing Dutchman.

Camp Freddie - another rebel?

It's all going Pete Tong, everybody is leaving The Arsenal and another on the list is Camp Freddie Ljungberg if you believe everything you read. Camp Freddie is quoted recently as saying he wont sign another Arsenal contract unless they show ambition in the transfer market. That's about it, not really news worthy but there is a drought on.

No Euro backdoor action for Spurs

Told it was going to be a long old summer, another non-Arsenal story! As they aren't good enough to qualify for Europe via the league, T*ttenham tried to do so via the 'Fair Play' League. However they weren't even good enough at that and in last nights draw got beaten to it by a team of dinner ladies from Slovakia and a team of World War I veterans from Switzerland .

As it's the cricket season we need to have a butchers at some eye cand y - so get cracking and send some pictures in of Highbury talent - that includes you too boys!

round-up in 60 seconds or less..

Hardly any news doing the rounds as it's 'cricket season' now... however unsettled Espanyol defender Alberto Lopo is reportedly an Arsenal target... The Manure sponsored FA will probe agent Jonathon Barnett after the fallout over Colegate... that's it, Keep it locked, more news at 11.