Guti deal a non starter

Guti Real Madrid's midfield bench warmer, hinting that he wants to join the FA Cup winners went up in smoke last night when Saint Wenger said "I am not looking at Guti at all. I cannot say any more about it. It is either yes or no and in this case it is no."

So that's that then.

Beastwatch

Happy Spanking in Austria

The Arsenal continues their pre-season in free scoring form after hammering Austrian part-timers Weiz 5-0. New captain King Henry was in fine form scoring two, the first one being a completely outrageous bit of skill but what else would you expect by the all round Mr Nice Guy? Mathieu Flamini, David Bentley and Dutch Master DB10 were the others on the score sheet to complete the rout. The only bit of bad news was that José Antonio Reyes got a kick and hobbled off although according to the official web site he's going to be alright, which is nice.

The two trialists Alexand re Song and Armand Traore will be given until the end of the week to continue to impress Saint Wenger. Song who's the brother of 'its all goner a bit' Rigobert Song played the full 90 minutes of the 5-0 spanking and at 17 years old apparently looks the part in midfield, we shall see.

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New boy Helb in Arsenal love in

New boy Alexand re Hleb has said even with all the filthy lucre The Bank of Chelsea are throwing about he wasn't interested in joining the Sarf West London chav outfit. The Belarussian known as Alex to his mates stated "When I heard about Chelsea's interest I didn't give it a thought, for me, it was only ever Arsenal.

The £10m new recruit then went on "Many people seem to think nobody will be able to compete with Chelsea but I beg to differ. I've come to Arsenal to win as many honours as possible. I want to win every trophy going, home and abroad. Maybe Chelsea have more money and a bigger squad, but that's not the most important thing. The goal Arsenal set is very simple - to win everything there is to win."  I think Helb has won over a lot of Gooners already, which is nice.

Paddy replacement

Win a cool t-shirt

Allgoonerdup.com has once again teamed up with t-shirt meisters harderthansatan. This time you get to pick which t-shirt you want to win from their cool collection, like this new Betty Ford number. All you have to do is pick the desired t-shirt and tell us why you should win, simple isn't it? The funniest one will no doubt win. Check the range of clobber out which includes limited edition Arsenal players tees at: www.harderthansatan.com

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round-up in 60 seconds or less..

We must thank Jamie 'Carra' Carragher for giving us the biggest laugh yesterday by putting Peter 'Lanky streak of p!ss' Crouch in the same bracket as Thierry Henry, oh how we laughed. We just want to know if Jamie is available for a new tour of his stand up comic show.... yeah right! and that's about it, Keep it locked, more news at 11.