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Middlesboro (A)
Sat 9 April 3pm

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1 Chelski 31 80 50
3 Arsenal 31 67 39
3 Manure 31 67 31
4 Everton 31 51 2
5 Liverpool 31 50 13
6 Bolton 31 46 3
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 Henry 40
 Ljungberg 33+2
 Pires 29+10
 Reyes 31+6
 Vieira 35
 Van Persie 13+20 6
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No defence for the Defence

Once more The Arsenal prove we aren't going to win a competition with inept and school boy error (which is a slight on school boys) defending. Not just was it a case of the defence being shoddy but in attack we lacked ideas. This isn't a knee jerk match report either. I have never switched channels when The Arsenal have played but last night I had to - it was that bad. And to make matters worst (or not) I actually missed Munich's third goal, before continuing watching this water torture of a game.

Saint Wenger chose to play Pires/Reyes/Ljungberg all out of position - not sure what Saint Wenger saw in training but it definitely didn't work in Munich and it took him 85 minutes to realise that.

I'm not sure why we all get excited or pumped up for the European games, because The Arsenal seem to thrive on being the 'Tott*nham of Europe' (which isn't nice). There were only a few stand outs in last nights freezing conditions and one of those was 'Le Boss' Vieira who attempted to rescue The Arsenal almost single handedly- but the man can't do it all himself. Apparently King Henry was on the pitch - but we're not sure if anyone told him that. Admittedly he lack support, but this is the worst I've seen him play (well apart from the 2000 Euro final against Galatasaray). He didn't look confident but one thing in particular did stand out when he elected NOT to take a free-kick near the end of the game, which was definitely in 'Henry range'.

In what was billed as the 'Battle of the German keeper's' Oliver 'Wurzel Gummage' Kahn came out on top after picking the ball out of his net just once with the surprisingly quietly spoken Jens 'Mentalist' Lehmann having to grab the ball three times.

Oh Kolo Touré scored our goal whilst gifting the German's two and some geezer with a real long name scored the Munich's other one.


Que surprise Dennis is Banned

The Manure sponsored F.A. have as expected banned Dennis Bergkamp for three games for waving his finger in a very threatening manner at Sheffield Utd defender Danny Cullip. He will miss the FA Cup reply against the northern monkey's as well as the Premiership games against Southampton & Portsmouth.


60 second round-up or less...

Can't be @rsed to write anymore bit like The Arsenal who couldn't be bothered to turn up last night...



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