The Arsenal show Palace
who's the papa

A 'select' foreign legion of Arsenal stars, including five French 'internationals' and without an English player on the bench let alone the field tore into the sarf London chavs of Palace. After a bit of a panic caused by our mentalist German keeper, Jens Lehmann in the opening five minutes nearly gifting Chrystal Palace a goal, The Arsenal stormed into a  3 - 0 lead after half an hour.

I don't think anyone would of put any money William Hill's way on that score line after 25 minutes but after half an hour the boys clicked. José 'Prank caller victim' Reyes in particular stood out setting up DB10 for the opener, then helping himself with a rocket of a shot two minutes later. That was until King Henry fancied some of that 'who can score the best goal of the game routine' and cracked one in from a corner - the keeper got no where near it and if he did, he would of probably ended up in the net with the ball, such was the velocity of the shot. 'Le Boss' Vieira chipped in with yet another Highbury goal with King Henry ending the rout and showing Palace who the daddies are.

Palace did manage to find the net via the penalty spot as well - from non other than Arsenal fan and England right wing international (what are you thinking Sven?) Andrew Johnson - so at least he went home happy - knowing he got a goal and 'his' team still won... good work fella.

Did you spot him?

Did anyone else fail to see Chrystal Palace fielding an illegal player? Our visiting team's correspondent has confirmed a gremlin was in the line up for the Palace team and here's the evidence.

60 second round-up

The Arsenal are eyeing up Belgian keeper Silvio Proto, yep never of him here either...our superb left back Gael Clichy has said he would be 'devastated' if Ashley "The best left back in the world™" Cole left to go the Russian mafia run sarf London lottery winning chavs of Chelski...Saint Wenger has said on fielding Arsenal's first entirely overseas 'select' team: "I don't look at players' passports." It would be more surprising if our sometimes optically challenged manager had even seen them, which is nice... Before the 'St Valentine's massacre (ok we HAD to get it on here somewhere) Crystal Palace keeper Gabor Kiraly believes he made the "perfect decision" when he joined the Eagles, but after picking the ball out his net fives times he was unavailable for comment... Birmingham bad boy, car crashing & drink driving Jermaine Pennant again insists he would be happy to sign a permanent deal with the midlands' club - well that's if HMP Bedford don't beat them to his signature... and that's the end of this report.