On today's show..

Cash-burton or die

Saint Wenger has stated that in order for The Arsenal to survive it was a case of 'do or die' moving to The Emirates Stadium aka Ashburton Grove. Monday 15 August saw the traditionally named 'Topping Out Ceremony', The Saint helped kick off a symbolic moment at the new home of football, in which Vice Chairman David Dein, Directors Ken Friar, Keith Edelman and diamond geezer Danny Fiszman, had a kick about with various big wigs from the Emirates corporation. The 'crowd' was made up of construction workers who were told that they could 'down tools' for a while didn't need telling twice.

In what was a game of one way traffic, sublime skill and incredible athleticism on the part of The Arsenal ended in... actually we don't actually know we saw the broadcast on Sky Sports News, it actually looked like a bunch of men playing football like your dad. Anyhoo the boys had their fun and not a streaker in sight into the bargain unlike the game against Newcastle United, which is just as well.

Monsieur Wenger on the 'Topping Out Ceremony' had this to say The project was vital. It was that or die over the longer term at the top level. It is as simple as that. The new stadium will increase the potential of the club by 50 percent once the money is paid back and for us that means increasing turnover from £100 million to £150 million. It will put us up to the level of Manchester Red Sox."

You lucky readers can even see the photos on the official Arsenal site:
show me them pictures

Diamond Geezer Danny Fiszman who was instrumental in the planning of the new stadium said it was 'Crazy'. However as the publicity shy director had a lot to say on the matter you can read it here at Diamond Geezers says.

Souness in 'I'm happy' shocker

The red card dished out to Geordie boy Jermaine Jenas by ref Steve Bennett has been reduced to yellow after the official admitted his mistake. Depending which paper/site you subscribe to, the T*ttenham bound player who took out the 'Invisible Wall' Gilberto now wont face a ban much to the relief of Toon boss Graeme Souness for a tackle which would of been perfectly legal in his playing days, in fact it probably would have been mand atory.

The Toon boss even praised the ref for his reconsideration of the red card which was a touch harsh. The Big Scot even had a smile on his face although on most people it would be a scowl said "We have to be happy that he has made it." Now that's something you don't see everyday.

Short news day

Being International's Friendly Week there's not a great deal of news. One thing you can count on is any player from American conglomerate Manchester Red Sox (formerly Manchester United) will be pulling out citing various 'injuries' then surprisingly and almost miraculously will be fit as a butchers dog on Saturday. Ryan Giggs being the first one, now there's a surprise.

It's up for grabs now

Are you having a really stressful time at work today, need to raise a smile or do you just want to kill some time? Well we have the perfect tonic for you which will put a smile on your face quicker than Kelly Brook in a thong.

Tell your Liverpool mates if you have the misfortune to know one of those hub cap nicking scallies. Click on I want a smile on my face. Sit back and enjoy - again and again and again, it would be rude not to.

T-shirt comp - winner announced on Wednesday

Thank you for all your entries and there were plenty. Remember we said the funniest one would no doubt win and er.. yeah there were plenty. The winner will be announced on the site on Wednesday - all we have to do know is go through all you funny Bobby Davro's entries, once again - nice one.

round-up in 60 seconds or less..

Internationals roll call, apparently Camp Freddie wont be showing out for Sweden on Wednesday. The player who got 'Man of the Match' against northern monkeys Newcastle United took a blow to his calf. Our money is on him still playing against Chelsea at the weekend... Arsenal starlet and Mickey Mouse Cup playing midfield player Seb Larsson has turned down a loan move to Bastia... With his personal life a little bit on the hectic side right now, Lord van Persie has received praise not only from Saint Wenger but also Dutch leg-end Marco van Basten the national coach, which is nice... au reviour mon amis... Keep it locked, more news at 11..