The Rock is back!

Sol Campbell, 'The Rock of Arsenal' returned to action against the sister marrying carrot crunchers of Norwich in a reserves match on Monday. The Rock played the full 90 minutes and came through with flying colours and hasn't had any reaction to the ankle injury. Norwich must be really sick of the sight of The Arsenal as their keeper had to pick the ball out of his net four times, same story on Saturday when their 'bigger boys' played The Champions.

The Rock who has been out since February in the infamous 4-2 reversal against Manure, when a dirrty northern monkey stood on his ankle then gave him a kick 'just to make sure', is looking to be back for the FA Cup semi final match against Blackburn Rovers. Sol added that it's been a frustrating time on the sidelines and has given him time to think.

The Rock's recent injury has seen him miss out for England recently with King of the Chavs John 'Mullet boy' Terry getting the nod, but The Rock hopes to make up for lost time on the summer tour of America. "I would be happy to be on the tour if I am picked, in fact, two more games would be no problem and then I can have a five or six-week break before the next pre-season." Said the work shy defender.

Oh and the scorers in this latest four goal romp wereJeremie Ali-Ali-Dere(2), Sebastian Larsson and Robin Lord Van Persie, good work Gooners.

Greetings for St Totteringham Day

Greeting all Gooners, here's the card we promised you!

Send all your Sp*rs 'friends' a greetings card to mark this special occasion, cmon it is, St Totteringham Day happens every year like your birthday or Christmas.

Simple download the card and email it to a 'friend' to show your caring nature, it would be rude not to.

Mentalist Lehmann banned for one sided water fight

Arsenal keeper and resident mentalist Jens Lehmann faces a two match ban for soaking the ref and his linesman after the Champions League defeat against 'ze Germans' Bayern Munchkin's last month. A Uefa rep said 'The nutty goalkeeper has been accused of showing a 'striking lack or respect towards the referee.'

A statement from Uefa reads: "Jens Lehmann has been suspended for two Uefa club matches after twice throwing water the ref and his flag man in the players' tunnel at the end of the second leg of the Uefa Champions League first knockout round encounter with FC Bayern Munchkin at Highbury. "Lehmann was therefore found guilty of a deliberate pestering act that displayed a 'striking lack of respect towards the referee'."

The bottom line is The Mental One will now miss the first two games of the group phase with which ever club he will turn out for after his sale during the summer.

Everybody leaving - except our 'Bob'

With The Arsenal crashing out of Europe, not winning the league, 16 places off the relegation zone, probably going to miss out on winning The Boat Race and The Grand National to boot - everybody is leaving! Talk of Ashley "The best left back in the world™" Cole leaving for Spain, King Henry going to Barca or Inter, Le Boss Vieira off (Madrid cmon you know the score and script by now), Camp Freddie to Juventus, Edu to Valencia (ok that might be true!) and Reyes begging for Madrid (er ok that might be a goer as well) one person is definitely staying - Bobby Pires.

The thin bearded one who has a year left on his contract wants to stay at the Gunners - this despite media reports of a £45m exodus. But Bob has said "I would like to stay here. It doesn't depend entirely on me though, it is up to Arsene Wenger and David Dein, we'll sit down soon and sort something out, I'm sure." Before doing that funny horsie thing with his mouth.

Win an EXCLUSIVE T - shirt - come on there's still time!!

How would you lucky lucky people like to be the owner of this very exclusive brand new Dennis Bergkamp t-shirt? Well here's your chance. Our friends, the extremely funny and dark guys at harderthansatan have produced another funky limited edition design. ONLY TEN copies of this t-shirt are available.

All you need to do is answer this very simple question. Which teams did Dennis Bergkamp score his first and 100th Arsenal goals against? Remember we are looking for TWO teams - a lot of you have just put one team, cmon concentrate and read the question!

For a chance to win this very tasty limited edition t-shirt, forward your answers and
your t-shirt size to:
db10tshirtcomp@allgoonerdup.com

The competition will now run until Friday 2nd May 2005.

good luck Gooners.

Click on t-shirt image to see it larger!
and to view more products
by harderthansatan click on the link below

round-up in 60 seconds or less..

Birmingham winger, lag, lamp post smashing, drink driving, tag wearing bad boy Jermaine Pennant has curiously said he will speak to The Arsenal before deciding his future, so watch this space for his impending fast track sale to the midland giants.... Matthew Upson is looking to leave said same midland giants for European competition in order to be in the England reckoning, 'allegedly' The Arsenal and Liddypool are keeping tabs. But seeing as Saint Wenger sold him little more than two years ago it would remain to be seen if he had changed his mind on the Englishman... giant defender Sammuel Kaffour is still available for a free during the summer sales... The Arsenal have reportedly stepped up their pursuit of Brescia hitman and rea Caracciolo. Talks are at an 'advanced' stage with his agents, which basically means their touting him around like an Amsterdam hooker to any club willing to listen. However The Arsenal are to believed to have tabled a €10m package for the 23 year old. Although hold the press, The Arsenal will not be given a clear path to sign the striker, with suggestions that 'rivals' Tott*nham are waiting in the wings as well as other I-talian clubs.... keep it locked, more news at 11...