Shock horror 'Ralph' not charged over elbow incident

Surprisingly the Manure sponsored FA are not going to charge 'Ralph' Lauren over his 'alleged' elbow against some Sp*rs tart in our 1-0 victory on Monday.

Continuous slow-mo replays, countless cups of coffee and even a drunk mentalist jock on the phone to them telling them 'Ya see it there, you's have got to ban that sort of thing... hic' wasn't enough to send Lauren down - which is nice.

Even the Sp*rs manager (pictured right) said Lauren was lucky to get away with the little tickle on his defensive 'hard man'.

Wallpaper 'em

Remember to remind any of your Sp*rs friends just who are the guv'nors in London and hit them up with this 'official' Arsenal wallpaper, it would be rude not to.

Click Wallpaper, download and email the image and wind your Sp*rs mate up.

More players linked (must be a slow week)

OK today's linked player is I-talian sensation Alberto Gilardino who is currently plying his trade at relegation threatened Parma. Parma who are well in the relegation mix will no doubt go down so the 22 year old will be sold, just remains to be seen where his next club will be.

Fight Club boy released

Dr Quincy of Owusu-Abeyie our fighting 18 year old Dutchman has been released on bail after his part in a bit of fisticuffs after the PFA Awards. There is still no official word on this - so we await any further news.

Saint Wenger speaks

In what has been a very slow week Saint Wenger has a few sound bites mid week. The first one being that TH14 could miss the FA Cup Final against The Manchester Red Wildcats and that the pitches over the winter were to blame for The Arsenal gifting the title to The Bank of Chelsea. That's about it.

Interestingly Ol' 80% Proof Nose Alex Fergie-son has said that his Manchester USA Revolution have not been awarded a penalty at Old Shiteford since the very dubious one given against The Arsenal on 24 October. When the thick necked, Shrek looking, serial geriatric prostitute worrying, ginger, thieving scouser fat boy Rooney fell over his own dancing feet. The mad despot went on to say after a penalty wasn't awarded in the game against Newcastle that his players need to get shot in order to win a penalty. Now there's a thought.*

*This website in no way condones shooting Manure diving cheating players.

You have till Monday to win this T-shirt!

You only have a matter of days to win this t-shirt now so get cracking.

harderthansatan have produced another funky limited edition design. ONLY TEN copies of this t-shirt are available.

Question:
Which teams did Dennis Bergkamp score his first and 100th Arsenal goals against? It's that simple.

Click the link, give us your answers and t-shirt size, lovely- job done:

or you can copy and paste the email address:
db10tshirtcomp@allgoonerdup.com

The competition will now run until Monday 2nd May 2005.

good luck Gooners.

Click on t-shirt image to see it larger!
and to view more products
by harderthansatan click on the link below

round-up in 60 seconds or less..

Arsenal have extended Swedish starlet Sebastian Larsson's deal by two years... defender Frankie Simek's loan spell at Bournemouth has been extended... that's it Keep it locked, more news at 11.