Lets take it to The Bridge

Today's 'must win - to make the next champions of England , Chelski sweat a bit' see's Sol 'The Rock' Campbell back in the squad. It would be the first time the big man will be part of the first team since Feb 1.

Already out of the clash is King Henry and Camp Freddie, who join Mathieu Flamini and Gael Clichy on the treatment table.

As we all know the London Russians have an unassailable 11 point lead with six games to go needing to take only five points to make them champions for the second time in their illustrious career. At the time of going to press the team news has not been revealed. What we do know is Sol Campbell will be on the bench but it remains to be seen who will start up front out of José 'Fonzarelli' Reyes or wonder boy Lord 'New DB10' van Persie.

Ahead of the game Saint Wenger who refuses to concede the title said "What makes a difference between the big champion and a normal person is that, as long as there is a chance, a big champion fights. It is important not only not to lose, but to win. As long as there is mathematically a chance, you have to go for it. It is always important to be strong in the big games. The Saint added "Remember they were already a good side last year and were competing for the title, they were second and were in the semi-finals of the Champions League. Since then, they have bought 11 players so I expected them to be where they are".

Tale of two Terry's

We liked the title, however all we can write is that Thierry 'The King' Henry wont be playing and that John 'King of the Chavs' Terry Chelsea's captain and England 's fifth choice centre back will be in tonight's 'top of the table clash'.

and y 'The Peoples Elbow' Todd charged by the FA

In what must of come as a bit of a surprise, The Manure sponsored FA have charged WWE wrestler and y 'TPE' Todd for violent conduct for his trademark finishing move at the weekend when he took out Lord van Persie - with his signature 'The Peoples Elbow' move. He has until today 6pm to respond to the charge.

Found in the Chelski book store

Our roving reporter has been at it again and somehow managed to sneak his way into the London Russians book store and this time found these two gems. It's been reported that a third title in the Dummies range is planned but it is yet to be confirmed whether a fifty year wait was on the cards  or how much more money would go into the title.

News on the Manure take over

Lord of the Rings creature looking American trillionaire Malcolm Glazer is just days off from taking over the northern monkeys of Manchester Red. The Manchester Red Wildcats as they will be known are currently undergoing some changes at Old Shiteford Park which too will be renamed. The Malcolm Glazer Nike Rose Bowl will be the new name for the northern monkey stadium. Our 'exclusive' shot reveals the secret changes at the ground.

New orders from the management include football from now on in Manchester will be called 'soccer', it's been confirmed hot dogs instead of meat pies will also be served on match day. Ground work is also ongoing, which includes changing the goalmouth into 'end zones' and auditions for cheerleaders will be held shortly we have been told. However reports of people having to 'whoop' instead of cheer are said to be wide of the wide.

Win an EXCLUSIVE T - shirt - there's still time!!

How would you lucky lucky people like to be the owner of this very exclusive brand new Dennis Bergkamp t-shirt? Well here's your chance. Our friends, the extremely funny and dark guys at harderthansatan have produced another funky limited edition design. ONLY TEN copies of this t-shirt are available.

All you need to do is answer this very simple question. Which teams did Dennis Bergkamp score his first and 100th Arsenal goals against? Remember we are looking for TWO teams - a lot of you have just put one team, cmon concentrate and read the question!

For a chance to win this limited edition
t-shirt, click on the link and give us your answers and your t-shirt size:

or you can copy and paste the email address:
db10tshirtcomp@allgoonerdup.com

The competition will now run until Friday
2nd May 2005.

good luck Gooners.

Click on t-shirt image to see it larger!
and to view more products
by harderthansatan click on the link below

round-up in 60 seconds or less..

Juventus striker David Trezeguet has hinted he wants to join The Arsenal and play alongside King Henry, must be coming up to summer...  ....Ralph 'The prize fighter' Lauren has refuted claims he said the lottery winning chavs of Sarf West London were 'boring' (well publically anyway)...   The Cole-gate hearing has been moved to the end of May after initially being penciled in to start at the end of this month... ...on the subject Ashley "The best left back in the world™" Cole Saint Wenger has said he believes the England star will star at the club, in fact The Arsenal manager is convinced...  of Keep it locked, more news at 11.