So I'm back on the air after a brutal two weeks being held captive in a resort hotel in Hawaii. Such is the life of a blog contributer. But two weeks on a series of small, isolated Pacific Islands had left me more desperate for a fix than Amy Winehouse at a Babyshambles concert. In the absence of access to the Internet I had to rely on traditional media to provide me with my essential Gooner vitamins - I was left a frustrated man.
I should have known not to expect too much - it's not like the Hawaiian islands have a strong tradition of producing speedy wingers with fantastic facial hair or hardman midfield enforcers, I don't even know if they have any professional football teams, but I at least expected the basics. The early signs were mildly encouraging, if not ideal. The England v Switzerland game, whilst not on any of the major sports channels did show up in the TV Guide. This turned out to be a cruel joke. Instead of seeing Big Phil take on Capello's England I got a College Basketball analysis show. Which is kind of like hoping to see Wigan take on Bolton and it getting the Sheffield derby. I wasn't sure if I was disappointed or embarrassed that I'd gone to any effort to watch what was no doubt going to be such rubbish when the waves of a palm tree lined tropical beach were within Eduardo scoring distance.
Despite this setback I ploughed on in hope of catching the Arsenal game or at very least the result. I was the Mathieu Flamini of Waikiki, boundless energy for the cause - surely the daily paper would help me out. A brief moment of excitement at seeing 'Football' in the 'For The Record' section in the Honolulu Star-Bulletin faded when I realised there was no mention of the Arsenal v Blackburn match, rather who the new assistant coach of the reserve offensive cheerleaders was at the Buffalo Bills. The Hawaii Tribune-Herald was no better. Clearly they haven't gone through Cesc-mania and have no idea who 'Chippy' is. But I did find out who came second in the north Oahu under 18's paddling championships. That was a relief.
Upon arrival back in football central (Sydney, Australia... oh) I learnt of the thumping we endured up north. Perhaps my enforced exile had saved me from a wasted 90 minutes of footballing pain. Everyone I spoke to asked me 'can you really get behind a player like Eboué?' thanks to his excruciating performance ending with his dismissal. The answer was of course a simple 'No'... unless i'm behind him with a baseball bat and a duffel bag.
And it just doesn't get any better. In last nights Milan game, Eboué shot wide when a player in the starting eleven for the league leaders really should be getting it on target. He has scored less times than Theo Walcott and Big Phil. In fact, despite playing regularly and starting in the same position that Freddie Ljungberg and Sylvain Wiltord once scored 10 goals plus a season from, Eboué has managed just one goal in all his Arsenal appearances. That's on par with Justin Hoyte.
The game itself was the expected tight affair. A 0 - 0 draw is not ideal but in some ways it may be better than say a 2 -1 as away goals have a habit of coming back to haunt you. Adebayor looked lively early on but the crucial goal never materialised. Oh and Eboué got booked for being stupid again.
But with a holiday comes a clarity of mind. I've seen an opening. I've just been to a place isolated not just physically from the rest of the world by thousands of miles of ocean but also in a cone of footballing silence. It's obvious - we must send Eboué there. It is for the good of football kind. Besides, it has world class coral reefs ideal for divers.
By Paul Wright
Now unless you've been in hiding or just don't care for any current goings on, you should all by now of heard of the The Arsenal Opus. And guess what? That's right you lucky people, you can get your grubbing little hands on one glorious historical epic of a book, straight up, no messing. And it's starring Arsenal FC.
As we know, trilogy's are nearly always on the cards. First there was the Old Testament, then someone decided to re-write it and to shift some more units they gave it the New Testament as a title. Well Gooners hang onto your shorts as the latest edition of bibles are released and it even has bigger and better title - The Arsenal Opus!
The Arsenal Opus has now moved into the Phase two. Phase one saw Gooners submitting their own or favourite photographs for Monsieur Wenger to choose 11 of the best, however you must know of this already, if not, well tough, the next bit is the important bit. Monsieur Wenger has a starting 11 of pictures sent in by you good people. The winning shot will be published in the winners very own Arsenal Opus. Hooraah!
Arsenal Opus is truly is a massive book and at 35kilos weighing in slightly more than Gael Clichy. The Arsenal Opus is truly a cracking read about the entire history of Arsenal, for starters is its 850 pages long, there's over 2000 pictures to get through for the less wordy bunch amongst you. For comparison, the 'Peter and Jane Sp*rs Opus' is 3 pages (includes 1 page for 'Notes' and all pictures of their glory moments).
The Arsenal Opus covers everything from the conception of the club, the great Herbert Chapman era of the 1930's, what bungs George Graham took, who the hell Bruce Rioch was, and what drugs Arsene was on when he signed Alberto Mendez and Frannie Jeffers. As devout followers of the word of Arsene, I reckon it is definitely worth a look see. We're not quite finished with the oohs and aahs as all Arsenal Opus' are worth £3000 (about the value of the Sp*rs keeper) and are signed by Arsene himself.
The Arsenal Opus will be presented to a very lucky smug looking winner by Arsene Wenger. To get your chance at winning 35kilos of proof of your support the best team since the dawn of time, all you need to do is decide which of the final 11 photos handpicked by Arsene you think 'best captures the Arsenal spirit'. So get going and enter this great competition. As well as a chance to win The Arsenal Opus you can win other great Arsenal merchandise and tickets. So what you waiting for, stop reading this and jump on for your chance to win The Arsenal Opus with O2.
Good luck Gooners.
OK, competition time again folks and your chance to win a fantastic Manu Adebayor (without the Olympic dive) inspired t-shirt. All you need to do to win this fine bit of clobber is tell us this. When did Le Gaffer splash the cash to get the big Togo forward to these shores? Easy isn't it?
Send your answers, name and postal address plus your choice of t-shirt, colour and size to:
iwannafreebie@allgoonerdup.com
Competition closes Monday 24 March.
Good luck Gooners.
Table is correct from fixtures on week ending 10 February and we have a new leader! Tony Heywood's Catflap Overmars have stormed ahead of James Coopers Brian Munich's who has been sitting on top of the pile longer than Ruud van Nistelrooy's face.
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Got something to rant about? Want to see what the discussion of the day is? Well jump on board The Allgoonerdup Forum and register if you haven't done so already and have your shout about Arsenal and general football topics.
Kolo Crocked: As if Gary Lewin didn't have enough on his hands what with messrs Robin van Persie and Tomáš Rosický taking up most of his time, he now has to add Kolo 'The Lion' Touré to a ever expanding list of casualties. The big man has been ruled out for between three to four weeks with a calf injury. The injury is slightly easier to take what with Phillippe 'Swiss Tony' Senderos looking like he has stopped dropping huge bollocks all over the shop... Wenger to nab Spanish kid? Apparently Le Gaffer is tracking another kid (nothing new there) this time the likely candidate to be part of The Grove revolution is 15-year-old Ignasi Miquel who is part of Spanish outfit Cornella's youth team... That's your lot, we out of here, au reviour mon amis...
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