We at Allgoonerdup are normally renowned for our ground breaking, exclusive, investigative, no nonsense, pull no punches, Pulitzer prize reporting and features... hmm you sure you have the right site? OK, I am only pulling your giblets, any road up Allgoonerdup is taking a diversion from the extracting the urine to bring you a more serious headline article and it is written by Nathan Grower who would normally bring you match previews. Well he has done The Arsenal vs Blackburn Rovers preview which you can read by doing the 'colicky thing' but read his thoughts on this new fang led idea dreamt up by the Premier League paymasters to play Premier League games outside the four walls of this country we call England. Not sure about you readers, but not on my watch!
Despite having written match previews this year for matches against our biggest rivals, this is by far the most important piece I’ve written. What I write about today is the news that every club in the Premier League, including our own, seems keen to play domestic English football outside of our country as soon as 2011.
This is obscene, for three colossal reasons. Firstly it is grossly unfair and robs the league of any integrity. Secondly it is sickeningly greedy. Thirdly it’s a kick in bullocks for every football fan in this country past, present and future.
It is unfair for the simple reason that the league works by having every team play every other team. Once at home, once away. No complaints are valid in the league. The truth is that you play everyone, you go everywhere, and you decide your own destiny within those constraints. Under the new proposal, we could play Everton 3 times, whilst United played Derby 3 times. Hence the result of this “league” would not represent who was the better team. Problems like this would spring up all over; in the drop zone, in the UEFA cup spots, in the champions league spots. In my mind the Premiership would be worthless in that new system. The FA Cup, purely random has a beauty all of its own, but the league would die without its structure.
Secondly the greed aspect. Since 1992 premier league clubs have begun to bend their fans over and absolutely shaft them. Tickets? Kits? Food? Programmes? Drinks? Sky Sports? Setanta? All that teams care about, perhaps our own included, is money. Whilst I’d argue that ours is most interested in money to make us competitive, the American owned clubs in particular are in it to service loans and then make cash for their owners, simple as that. And now guess what? Now that we’re paying out as fast as we can they’re moving onto a new audience, as simple as that. In reality it’s already started, only last week United played in the Middle East for a guy’s testimonial. Oh, and a million quid. Even for the past few years there’s been a “Premier League Asia” pre season tournament. But now it’s time to say “f*ck you England, this weekend we can make millions of pounds out of Thailand, China, India, Dubai and America. So shut up, pay for Sky Sports, watch the game on TV, then buy a ticket to the next game, you bunch of thick twats.” I for one am not going to be treated like that.
To the owners our support doesn’t matter. Ironically it does matter to the very people they’re going to take football to. Why do you think that United and Liverpool are so popular in Asia for instance? Because of John Arne Riise? George Gillette? MUTV? Malcolm Glazer? No, it’s because of “you’ll never walk alone” and because of “The Kop” and because of "The Stretford end”. They don’t care United winning the European Cup in the 60’s; they care about singing the songs about it, and the stories. They care about Gerrard, Carragher, Neville, and Scholes. Because those are, as much as I hate and detest them, Roy of the Rovers players who speak English with a “funny” accent and they fight and scream abuse at each other, and all because football is England’s religion. Because they grew up wanting to play and fight for their respective teams. Because football in front of 54,000 stupid Geordie's means meant more to Shearer than anything, and they could see that. Because when Henry kissed the turf at Highbury he wasn’t kissing it because of what he had achieved there, it was because it was precisely that, turf at Highbury. Because football is special here, and special to the people that live here and that, not the actual football, is what foreigners love. And yet 21 millionaires have decided to take that to pay for another home in Barbados. To me, that’s blood money.
Finally, and perhaps most seriously, it may mark the beginning of the end of league football in this country. How long, should this be a success, will we have to wait until we see “International Month” every season, when a club plays an away match in America, Europe, the Middle East and then Asia in a month long tour? And one that happens, how long is it until we start seeing the big fixtures popping up in those ones. Oooo, how convenient is that, Man Ure and Playing Liverpool in Hong Kong. Aren’t we lucky. And then the smaller clubs will be told there’s no market for them, and that “we’d love to have you” but they can’t fit them into the schedule. At best about 10 Premier League clubs have a global image of any sort. And then we’d be reduced to something of a circus, as we toured the world, playing exhibition matches and sometimes handing over some trophies. And how long until someone decided it was silly having two clubs in Manchester and that City should probably play somewhere without a side, maybe New York? How long until there are homeless and fanless money making troupes scattered around the world
A conclusion taken too far for now, but one that will only ever been one vote taken amongst 21 millionaires away. But can we sit back? NO. We sat back when Wimbledon became a franchise. We sat back and tutted when the Premiership let West Ham stay up illegally. Now we can sit back no longer. People cleverer and more daring than me will come up with plans, and as soon as they do I’ll be right behind them.
By Nathan Grower
What's your thoughts on this . Jump onto The Forum and have your say:
Now unless you've been in hiding or just don't care for any current goings on, you should all by now of heard of the The Arsenal Opus. And guess what? That's right you lucky people, you can get your grubbing little hands on one glorious historical epic of a book, straight up, no messing. And it's starring Arsenal FC.
As we know, trilogy's are nearly always on the cards. First there was the Old Testament, then someone decided to re-write it and to shift some more units they gave it the New Testament as a title. Well Gooners hang onto your shorts as the latest edition of bibles are released and it even has bigger and better title - The Arsenal Opus!
The Arsenal Opus has now moved into the Phase two. Phase one saw Gooners submitting their own or favourite photographs for Monsieur Wenger to choose 11 of the best, however you must know of this already, if not, well tough, the next bit is the important bit. Monsieur Wenger has a starting 11 of pictures sent in by you good people. The winning shot will be published in the winners very own Arsenal Opus. Hooraah!
Arsenal Opus is truly is a massive book and at 35kilos weighing in slightly more than Gael Clichy. The Arsenal Opus is truly a cracking read about the entire history of Arsenal, for starters is its 850 pages long, there's over 2000 pictures to get through for the less wordy bunch amongst you. For comparison, the 'Peter and Jane Sp*rs Opus' is 3 pages (includes 1 page for 'Notes' and all pictures of their glory moments).
The Arsenal Opus covers everything from the conception of the club, the great Herbert Chapman era of the 1930's, what bungs George Graham took, who the hell Bruce Rioch was, and what drugs Arsene was on when he signed Alberto Mendez and Frannie Jeffers. As devout followers of the word of Arsene, I reckon it is definitely worth a look see. We're not quite finished with the oohs and aahs as all Arsenal Opus' are worth £3000 (about the value of the Sp*rs keeper) and are signed by Arsene himself.
The Arsenal Opus will be presented to a very lucky smug looking winner by Arsene Wenger. To get your chance at winning 35kilos of proof of your support the best team since the dawn of time, all you need to do is decide which of the final 11 photos handpicked by Arsene you think 'best captures the Arsenal spirit'. So get going and enter this great competition. As well as a chance to win The Arsenal Opus you can win other great Arsenal merchandise and tickets. So what you waiting for, stop reading this and jump on for your chance to win The Arsenal Opus with O2.
Good luck Gooners.
Stay tuned this week as you can win a t-shirt with man of the moment Manu Adebayor - The Togonator emblazoned on it, yup that's it on the right.
Until such time - have a butchers at the clobber you could treat yourself to - The Allgoonerdup Shop.
Table is correct from fixtures on week ending 10 February and we have a new leader! Tony Heywood's Catflap Overmars have stormed ahead of James Coopers Brian Munich's who has been sitting on top of the pile longer than Ruud van Nistelrooy's face.
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Got something to rant about? Want to see what the discussion of the day is? Well jump on board The Allgoonerdup Forum and register if you haven't done so already and have your shout about Arsenal and general football topics.
The Flamster wants to sign: The Arsenal's most improved player this season (unless Manu Adebayor is reading!) Mathieu Flamini who EVERYBODY knows is out of contract and can talk to any suitors says he wants to sign for The Arsenal. Well the manager, the board and the fans want you to sign - so f*cking sign up already, what's the delay, get cracking, sign that bit of paper and Monsieur Wenger don't let him leave your office until the ink has dried... Henry to Newcastle? The northern messiah - Kevin Keegan says he hopes to bring he of Arsenal leg-end-dom (if there is such a word) to Newcastle. Well here's how the only way you'll do it, you former afro ambassador, a gun, some rope, chloroform and some pills which will make Monsieur Henry think The Big Market is Casa Batlló... That's your lot, we out of here, au reviour mon amis...
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